*dreamin wit my eyes wide*

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

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been so tired lately. both body n mind. dont even have the mood to up date my blog.
in case u all have been wandering how ive been, ive been ok. just ok. mostly downs.
firstly, ive just been held up with so many practices. too many events. too many practices. enjoyed it initially bt its driving me nuts now. no time to concentrate on my stuffs, no time to relax n enjoy my days. each and everyday i had to go to n fro frm teck whye to kallang. gettin sick n tired of it.
as for other matters..
my final year project.
im hell worried bt tat. im still lost. im really afraid. i dun quite noe wats happening. im really really terrified. really hope i'll make it thru but it just seems impossible now. hopefully i'll get a clearer picture of the project real soon. its driving me crazy. hell crazy. help me somebody.please.
my family. we're doin fine..its just tat im spending too little time with them. missin my mum n my silly kid bro especially. love them to bits.
as for my personal life. things r ok..ups n dwn still. for awhile im happy...then later i'll be dwn again.im frustrated now...but think i'll be ok soon...coz some matters just pisses me off... and im tryin hard to control myself. hell hell.
frens. as for now. it seems like i have none around me. most of them r bz. doin their own stuffs maybe. or maybe im the one who's too bz.
hudha. i dun really noe how she is now. but i can tell that she's happy with her swthrt so far. happy for her. its just that i miss her sometimes, too much it can make me cry.
guess i can only depend on myself nowadays. have to keep in mind that im on my own..handlin my own pathetic life. hopefully days will be brighter for me.
hopefully urs will be too. take care ppl.

slipped.away + | 1:50:00 AM

xxxxx

Friday, May 27, 2005

yuuhuuuuuuu~~~
first thing firstt. i got a new cat!!
haha...actually its a kitten...black in cororrr..so cute..haha..still not lettin it out loose ard the house..afraid i might step on it without realisin.haha too tiny to be true. and my lil brother gave it a silly name....chombi. haha...silly kid...
hmmmm...
and anyway..sorry for being quiet all these while.no updates at all. had some of the toughest times in life.
but now things are definately better...just that im still stuck for my fyp n i will be so bloody busy soon...busy performin n shits... adoi adoi.
thanks to all of you for visiting my blog...even though u knoe i seldom put up updates...hehe..tank u so much...muahs muahs...
hehe...just hope days will be better for me still....
there's one thing i keep thinkin abt now....which is gonna happen in abt a few months....cant help bt keep thinkin bt it..............
haiz....i gtg now...will meet my supervisor tmrw....sheesh.
i havent even started and shit on my fyp.
gonna nd to do sumthin really fast.haha
im out for now..
oh and anyway yibiey, uhibuukaaakii~~
hee.....
out!

slipped.away + | 12:36:00 AM

xxxxx

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

my life is in a mess now.
feelin so lost. feelin so dumb.
wish i can just dissappear right this moment.
to stop bringing tears to people. especially beautiful people.
im so sick of myself. sick of my life. sick of my everyting.
maybe being alone is the best of them all.
maybe i shud.
maybe i shud just be by myself. maybe tat'll make things better.
maybe tat'll make u fine....
all i want to see now is for u to be as usual..for you to be as smiley as before..
i just want you to stop tearing..please
just tell me....
id do anything to stop hurtin u.

slipped.away + | 12:45:00 AM

xxxxx

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

i am just disappointed in myself.
i just dunnoe who i am now.
why am i being this way.
why am i being bad.
being hurt is a usual thing for me.
but for me to hurt someone hurts me even more.
thought i could make it thru.
thought i was strong
but its seems like everytime i fight i fall again
and again.
i still fail to bring smiles to his face
when on the other hand, he's the reason to all my smiles now.
im just ashamed of myself.
though i know its wrong, im still so weak.
yes i love him yes,but he doesnt seem to feel it though.
he doesnt seem to see that id be lost if he'd be gone
he doesnt seem to see that he's everyting to me now.
guess i hurt him too deep, too deep till i just cant find ways to heal the wound
sorries dun work no more now
becoz sorries just changes nothing.
i just need to find my own self now.
i need to keep my faith up
i really need to be strong.
i wanna be with him, i really do.
please help me God,please help me make it thru.

uhibukka.

slipped.away + | 12:05:00 AM

xxxxx

Monday, April 25, 2005

hate today. lame and irritating.
i mean so far, today is so pathetic. shit happened and i cudnt help but burst.
i know i was in the wrong somehow, i mean i shudnt have read it in the first place. but now tat i have, it made me hate.
im stil stuck in school now. cant go till 5 42. bored and alone.
kerry left already....haiz...and here i am,sitting so dumbly alone.
...sometimes i feel tat im just so bloody stoopid, to be still thinking bt him...
please get out of my farkin head. please please please.
im wasting my energy,wasting my time, wasting my tears.
im just trying to look on the brighter side now, at least now i have a reason to hate and forget bt him easily. and of course, on the brighter side, i have my babiey smiley angel.
just hope to cry no more. this is the last straw. ive had enuf.
gtg now, having tuition later. hope my baby hannah will make me smile.

"setiap kegagalan mematangkan,
setiap kesedihan menyedarkan,
setiap kebaekan ade ganjaran,
setiap kejahatan ade balasan,
ape yang datang satu pengalaman,
bersyukur, bersabar, itu yang paling penting"

slipped.away + | 5:08:00 PM

xxxxx

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

doing nothin much now.in school alone. farkin bored.
really dun get y we need to stay frm 9 to 5 in school when we are actually workin on our own. damndamn.
but nvm.at least i got to edit my blog. yeah.wuuhu. anyway hope u blog hoppers like my current skin coz i looikke it alot. hah
hmm.feel like knockin my head against this snack vending machine. feel so stressed up. i dunnoe how the hell am i suppose to complete my fyp. and one good thing is tat i have to read up abt ASP.net and learn it. on my own. thanx to my supervisor for askin me to apply ASP when he dun even noe any shit abt it.
anyway i borrowed a hell thick book on ASP. well did nothin much to it yet. kept staring at the pages and yet nothin goes in.
now just waitin for 5.33pm to come. cant wait to get my butt off this hard bench. haha.
hmm. thinkin of boo now. wonderin how she's doin. its been hell long since we last met.
missin her so much...cant help but cry sometimes. she seems so bz now..with school n all.but im happy for her that she's doin well so far..and of course happy tat she's got azhar now.
but no matter how physically distant we are now...she's still very close to my heart. she's my gal...and she'll always be. i'm still very much near gal, so just call wen u need me..
lov n miss u.
be huggin ure tummy soon

-missin ur smile
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slipped.away + | 4:47:00 PM

xxxxx

Monday, April 18, 2005

heyho ppl. just got back. feelin a lil wonderful.
keke.
in this entry...i wish to make it official......than i am trulyy really INN LOVEE~~~~
wuuuu~~ tenk kiukkkk~~~
kakaka. been all smiley the past days n weeks... thanx to u my mr.grebo....
keke.
yesterday the yesterday went to watch CREEP with him. was quite seram la. i mean the boogey man was so ugly...with his eyes so sunken and skin so kedot kedot. but kecek dara la he...whenever i like terpranjat then he also terikot terpranjat..."betol tak gune lah ko chita" hehee...but i stil laf u many2....
was so hepi tat day...for the first time...i feel like im floating...kakaa....
for ppl who r readin this, pls dont complain, puke nor frown because u shud be smiling coz life can just be so beautiful wen ure sharing it with sumone as beautiful........and im feelin good nowdays :)
heh.back to yesterday. well....did nothin...but met him again...kaka....
mornin went to watch him n other kakaks n abangs perform at kak lydia's wedding ceremony...very releks...n nice...but then after tat i went straight home coz my momma was a lil cranky. but stilll....ended up i still met him coz my mom n my dad went out with my auntie. keke....had fun still...went to jurong point....paksa him to eatt...hai..susa betolll la nak tengok ko makann....keke...as usual had so much laughters and cocoking of armpret....just feel like gigeting his idong and kunyah sometime.."GRR NYE AKO~~~"
hehe...and finally todayy....just got back....met him for a while just now....he didnt werk just now....was forced by his mom to go to clinic coz his cough is gettin worst..trime kaseh makcikk~~ wuuuu tenk kiukk~~ finally he go see dokto. keke..well didnt go anywhere interesting...just went to united square...but was not bad...till had a splendid time.....hmm...

sorry for ppl who read this entry..i mean cannot help it but talk abt him....he deserves to be mentioned...
coz he's been takin very good care of me...
makin sure tat im all smiley......
makin sure tat my eyes get watery no more.......
makin sure tat i stay strong each passing day....
thanx to you precious......
it doesnt matter to me whether we'r a couple or not......or whether will we be one later.....
but as long as ure around me, i'll cherish u till end.
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slipped.away + | 11:51:00 PM

xxxxx